Coping
by musicalsaregood
Summary: When one of the ninja gets gravely injured, each member of the team suffers. They split off and learn to cope with the situation, but coping is only a temporary solution to a pretty big problem.
1. Anger

They thought it was just going to be a simple battle against the serpentine. How could a fight at Mega Monster Amusement Park become so deadly? None of them had seen the sword coming, none of them had been prepared for the pain-filled scream that followed. The next thing they knew, all of the snakes were gone; the cry of "retreat" from Skales had them slithering away within seconds. Cole was lying on the ground, his eyes squeezed in pain and his breathing labored, his body curled into his stomach. The sword was still deep in their leader's stomach and Kai, out of pure instinct and worry, had grabbed the handle and ripped it out, causing yet another horrific scream to fill the air. Blood started gushing out of the wound immediately after the removal.

"Kai!" Jay screamed through clenched teeth. "Why did you do that! That's exactly what you _don't_ do when someone has pointed object stuck in their body!"

"I panicked! I freaking panicked, Jay! He looked like he was in pain!"

"Now he could bleed out!" Zane put in angrily.

"Do you want me to shove it back in him then?" retorted Kai, waving the sword for emphasis.

"That's the most idiotic thing you could do!" Zane shot at him.

"Other than pulling the sword out!" added Jay condescendingly, his voice just shy from shouting.

A pain-filled moan could be heard from the ninja on the ground. "It's… fine…" said ninja chuckled airily between deep breaths, though the chuckling soon turned to a coughing fit, breaking his 'I'm not dying' routine. "I'm… fine…" His continuous coughing and the way he had wrapped an arm around his wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding himself was more than worrisome to Kai.

"Well then we better hurry back to the freaking Bounty!" Once more, out of instinct, the fire ninja swooped down and picked his 'brother' up, gesturing for the team to go back to the Bounty. Jay retrieved Cole's weapon while Zane snapped out of his frustration and frantically called for the Ultra Dragon to come aid them.

"You're gonna be okay, it's all gonna be okay," Kai muttered to the Earth ninja as he gently hopped on the dragon. He carefully lowered the earth ninja so he was lying in his lap, his head resting against his chest. Kai wrapped a protective arm around his shoulder and used the other one to both grab and press one of Jay's emergency sweatshirts onto his wound. Cole gave him a weak smile, then groaned and squeezed his eyes shut as another wave of pain seared through his body. Kai and Jay exchanged a worried look. Jay started talking about random things, trying to distract the him from the pain. Cole kept his eyes shut and merely laughed quietly at some things the blue ninja rambled about. About halfway through the ride, Kai interrupted Jay, "He's unconscious!" and Zane urged the dragon to go faster.

Now they were all in the Bounty, Misako tending to his injuries. They saw that the wound had been a through and through, there was an exit wound in the Earth ninja's back. Cole had stopped breathing as soon as they got to the Bounty and Misako was trying to bring him back. They had now split up, and all of the ninja were coping in their own ways.

Kai was in the training section of the Bounty, training. He was destroying all the snake dummies they had. He punched them, kicked them, cut their heads off with his sword. He even went as far as to burn some of them.. He just wanted to get rid of them. His body hurt, he was sore, and his knuckles were bleeding. He was panting, head over his heart.

" _Having fun?"_ said a voice behind him. He spun around and was taken aback when he saw Cole. The teen was dressed in his favorite black hoodie and sweatpants, his bangs covering his left eye.

"Wha-but-you-you're-" stuttered Kai, taking a step away from the black ninja. Cole just casually stood there, his hands in his pants pockets, rolling his eyes until Kai finally managed to say, "Are you dead?"

Cole threw his head back and laughed louder than Kai had ever heard him laugh before. "' _Are you dead?' HA! That's hilarious, Kai!"_

"T-Then why am I seeing you?! I thought you were unconscious in the-the infirmary!"

" _Um, yep. Last I checked I was,"_ the earth ninja said sarcastically.

"Then who-what- are you?" Kai spluttered angrily.

Cole spun around and extended his arms outwards as if to say 'tada' before actually saying, " _I'm a figment of your imagination, hothead!"_

"A-A figment of my imagination?"

Cole tapped his forehead. " _Yup, figment of your imagination. I'm a lot meaner in your imagination, aren't I?"_

Kai gulped then nodded. "So… if you're not… dead… then why are you here? You've got to have a reason, right? That's what happens in all the movies."

" _Pfft, the movies. I expected more from you, Kai. No, I'm not dead, just… dying."_ Cole sighed then sat down on a bench and beckoned for Kai to do the same. The fire ninja did so hesitantly. " _You see, Kai, it's not that I want to die."_

"Then why?!" Kai threw his hands in the air. "Why am I seeing you? If you don't want to die then why are you here?! I don't understand!"

" _I don't know. Coping? Exhaustion?"_ Cole shrugged. " _I know you well enough to know you aren't handling this well. I mean, look at your hands."_

Kai looked down and cringed when he saw the bloody mess of his hands. He hung his head, too ashamed to look at the image of his friend.

" _You know I wouldn't be very happy if I found out."_

"You mean you _won't_ be happy _when_ you find out," growled Kai.

" _Mm. We'll see."_

Kai glared at the ninja's feet. "I hate you," he mumbled.

" _Hey, I'm just saying."_ The two just sat there for minutes in silence. The fake earth ninja sighed once more. " _You know I care about you, right?"_

Kai snorted, prepared to disagree, but a small, "I do…" came unintentionally from his lips.

" _I need you to take care of yourself. This…"_ he gestured to his hands, " _is not okay."_

"Yeah? Well what else do you want me to do, Cole?" he shouted, standing up and towering over the smaller teen. "Would you rather me go find and punish the Serpentine myself? Because I am this close to freaking hunt them down!" Kai held his shaking hand up, his fingers apart ever so slightly. "Oh or would you be satisfied if I ended up taking my anger out on someone else?"

" _Kai, listen to yourself- you aren't thinking rationally."_ His voice sounded so calm. It pissed Kai off.

"I don't think _you_ understand, Cole," he seethed, pointing a finger at the other's chest. " _I_ was the one who pulled the sword out of your stomach- which only made things worse-, _I_ had to carry you to the Ultra Dragon, you were sitting on _my_ lap when you went unconscious, _I_ was holding you as you stopped breathing!" His voice broke and tears started streaming down his face. Cole just leaned back further into the bench until his head was resting on the top and his eyes were directed towards the sky. "Why are you so calm?! You're dying!" he screamed, his palms unintentionally lighting on fire.

" _You need to talk to someone, hothead. You're not doing so well."_

"ARGH!" Two balls of fire flew from his hands, directed towards Cole, but they only went through him. Kai could make out the shake of Cole's head before he slowly vanished. He wasn't there anymore. He wasn't real. The bench was lit on fire but Kai made no effort to put it out. He sat on the ground and watched it burn. A part of him wished the fake Cole would come back. Another part was glad _it_ was gone.

* * *

 **Heyo so I guess I actually did this? I've been reading fanfics on here for around six years (mostly Ninjago haha) and now I thought ehh, might as well maybe try something? This is a little story I've been working on for a few months.**

 **It's based off of the NCIS episode after ((slight season two / three spoiler)) Kate dies and all of the team sees their own little version of her? So it's kind of like that but actually nothing like that.**

 **I'm also trying to get used to... having people actually read my stuff sometimes because I usually just like... don't? So I guess I'm trying this out and hopefully this might not suck!**


	2. Meditation

**Thank you to those who read this! I first of all want to apologize for some grammatical errors in the last chapter, I read through it so many times and didn't see the errors until after I posted it *sigh*.**

 **But thank you to those who read, these chapters are kind of short, but I thought it would be best to split it up by the ninja haha. I hope this doesn't suck, haha enjoy!**

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The silence was almost overwhelming. Zane was sitting on the deck of the Bounty, his eyes closed, meditating. He tried to think of calming things. He pictured snow, the feeling of it falling on his face, the sight of it delicately covering the ground. He was almost content, _almost,_ until he saw something horrific that broke his meditation. The snow became red as blood slowly dripped onto it. It started to create a trail, and if Zane looked towards the end he could see the object of his nightmare. He opened his eyes as quickly as he could, but he was still there. Cole, wearing his ninja gi, a small trail of blood leading to him. His hood was off and there was some blood smeared on his face, but perhaps the most horrendous part about it was his right hand clutching his stomach, coated in blood. His hair was soaked with sweat and his breathing loud and heavy, his eyes filled with pain and sadness. Cole flashed a smile at Zane before limping towards a wall, sliding down it, and leaning against it.

" _Hey, buddy."_ His voice was strained. Zane felt like his powers had turned against him, he felt as though he were frozen. He blinked a few times, his mouth ajar.

"How did you-"

Cole laughed shakily before Zane could finish his question. " _Oh, I'm still in the infirmary. And before you ask, I'm not dead either…"_

Zane raised an eyebrow and scooted closer to Cole until he was sitting next to him. "You aren't real. You are dying, aren't you." It was a statement, not a question. He locked eyes with his friend. "You do not think you'll make it, do you?"

Cole started picking at the floorboards with his open hand. " _I've been lucky enough to have made it this far… you're smart. You knew what my chances were the second the sword hit my flesh."_

"Do you… want to die?"

" _Oh, no! I'm not ready to die yet! I don't want to leave you guys…"._

"Then don't." Zane attempted to grab his free hand, but his hand just went through. Cole chuckled wearily. "You're strong, I know you can beat this."

" _Physical strength can't keep me alive, Tincan."_

"But that doesn't matter!"

" _Oh? Why is that?"_

"Just-just because! You can't die!" The white ninja was close to hysterics. "You were bleeding and I panicked! I did nothing but call for our dragons! I could've done something! I could have helped! I shouldn't have argued with Kai and wasted precious time! You can't die because I was too foolish to act sooner!"

" _Oh, Zane, you've got to stop blaming things on yourself."_

That was not the response Zane was expecting. "Says you," he scoffed quietly.

" _Mmm, fair point. But right now, in this very moment, I need you to take a second and let that brilliant mind of yours comprehend that this wasn't your fault."_ Zane stared deep into Cole's tired grey eyes. He could have sworn the black ninja looked as though he were about to cry. " _If anything, I should have seen it coming. I should have seen the sword. Gah, some leader I am, huh? If I die, it's my own fault, Zane. There's nothing any of you could've done."_

"You-you hypocrite!" spat the Nindriod angrily, desperately wishing he could smack Cole upside the head for saying something so stupid. He opened his mouth, prepared to continue, but closed it once he saw the tears begin to fall. "Do you… really think that?"

" _Do you really think this is your fault?"_

"We'll agree to disagree."

All of a sudden, Cole started screaming. He squeezed his eyes shut, his hand clutched the hole in his stomach desperately, and his body arched as he writhed around. "Cole?" Zane asked, concern clearly audible. "Are you okay?"

" _ARGH! Zane… you were the best brother I could have asked for… never forget that."_

"No no no no no! Stop right there!" Zane was now crying too. He wished he could touch the black ninja, but each time he tried to pull him in for what seemed like one last hug, his arms went through him again. He knew it was futile, he knew it, but he kept trying. He saw the slightest bit of a smile on Cole's face as he faded away. Zane was left on the deck all by himself, trying to cling to the air. He burst into hysteric tears and brought his knees up to his chest, placing his head in between. He wasn't okay.

* * *

 **Yeah, that was kind of short and the last thing 'Cole' says is super cliche but I also had no idea what else he should say haha. I'm not too good at writing for Zane, so I hope this is decent! I like thinking Zane blames himself for things a lot, especially since he's a Nindroid, "built to protect those who cannot protect themselves" so that's why I went in that direction. But yeah, I hope you're all having a good day, a good week, I hope your year was good? Sorry I'm bad at talking and people haha!**


	3. Slumber

**Thank you everyone for the nice reviews! It really means a lot! This chapter is kind of short too, but the next chapter should be longer? Anyways, I hope you all enjoy!**

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He was lying on Cole's bunk bed, staring up at the bottom of Jay's bunk. He was going to go to his bed, but without even realizing it, his feet had led him to Cole's. Lloyd had no idea how he was supposed to feel, what he was supposed to do. Everything in his life had been so confusing, then he turned into a teenager and now his leader and 'big brother' was dying. He resorted to just trying to sleep his pain away, although that wasn't working too well.

" _Okay, this is just violating."_

Lloyd's head spun around upon hearing the voice and audibly gasped when he saw a tired and irritated Cole in his pajamas, his hand on his hip, staring back at him.

"AH!" he cried, tumbling off of the bed.

Cole rolled his eyes. " _I would help you up, but-"_ he walked towards Lloyd and then went right through him. Lloyd gaped at him as he watched the teen flop down onto the bed, then scoot over until he was touching the wall. He patted the space next to him. " _Have a seat, kid."_

Lloyd hesitated then gingerly laid down next to his friend. "So, am I dreaming? I'm asleep, right?"

" _I hate to burst your bubble but you are very awake."_

"Then how-"

" _Hey, you're still a kid, guess you've got a good imagination, huh?"_

Lloyd gulped. "I guess… this one just isn't as fun."

" _Well, the ones closest to reality never were the fun ones, were they?"_

Lloyd took his focus from the lines in the wood paneling and redirected his attention towards Cole. "You imagine things too?"

Cole snorted. " _All the time."_

"Like what?" asked Lloyd eagerly.

" _Sometimes when I was at dance school, I would pretend that I was outside! Climbing a tree or scaling a mountain!"_ Cole's frown turned to a smile and he propped himself up on his elbows. " _Sometimes when I'm training I pretend I'm training with the demigods at Camp Half-Blood. Oo! Sometimes when I get really upset, I pretend my dad isn't disappointed in me."_ A small sigh escaped from his lips. " _That one isn't a fun one."_

"Hey… I imagine that too," piped up Lloyd.

" _Really?"_

"Well, yeah! I mean my dad is one of the most evil and hated people in all of Ninjago! He's trying to destroy you guys, and here I am mourning over the loss of one of his greatest enemies…"

" _Hey… I'm not dead yet. I'm just… slowly departing."_

Lloyd was the one to snort this time. "I'm not a kid anymore, you don't have to sugarcoat things for me."

Cole's eyes widened and the soft glow of contentedness that had been in his eyes faded. His grey eyes were filled with sorrow. " _You grew up too fast. Do you ever imagine that you aren't the green ninja?"_

"Well," Lloyd picked at the bedsheets. "Sometimes. I like to think I was just a regular ninja and that my dad wasn't the biggest threat made to Ninjago." He groaned and let the sheets he was playing with fall off of the bed and onto the ground. "Sometimes I pretend my dad was never bit by the Great Devourer and I was never destined to be a ninja at all! I like imagining myself as a kid at school and my dad would be something awesome like a cop or a firefighter! Oo or sometimes, I like imagining that he's just my dad, not an evil warlord or a Spinjitzu Master just… just my dad…" the green ninja paused for a moment before finally finishing, "And my mom was there the entire time and we're all a happy family…"

" _You know you should talk to someone about all of this,"_ said Cole after a moment's silence.

Lloyd scoffed. "Um, I'm talking to you."

Cole reached out as if he were about to ruffle Lloyd's hair, but his hand only went through him. " _I'm not real, remember."_

"Oh… right…" He made eye contact with the older teen again. "I want you to be okay," he said firmly.

Cole chuckled. " _I could say the same for you, kid."_ The green ninja blushed a bit. " _You know I'm proud of you, right?"_

Lloyd was about to disagree, about to tell him he had no right to be proud of a screw up like himself, but the look in Cole's eyes changed again, it had been constantly changing throughout the entire time they had been 'talking' to each other. Now it was pride. The grey eyes were looking at Lloyd as if he had just saved the entire world, baked him a chocolate cake, and disposed of all of his problems. Lloyd swallowed before replying, "Yeah. Yeah, I know."

" _Good. Never forget that, okay?"_

"How about I forget and you tell me in person later today?"

" _Oh, I admire your imagination, kid."_

"It wasn't my imagination," said Lloyd seriously. "It's a future reality." Cole smiled at him. "How about once you're feeling better we can do this for real… you know… share our fantasies…"

" _I-."_ The black ninja was interrupted by his own yawning. It was aggressive and unending, almost like he were having a coughing fit but instead of coughing he was yawning. Then his eyes started to slowly close until they were completely shut, and the slow movement of his chest falling and rising ceased.

"Cole?" asked Lloyd frantically, his voice rising in volume. He sat up and attempted to shake the other ninja awake but it was to no avail, he just went through. His breathing started to rapidly increase as he watched the Earth ninja slowly fade until he was just grasping at the bed sheets. Tears pricked the corner of his eyes as he fell off of the bed once more, a panic attack quickly arising.

* * *

 **Okay, so I hardcore headcanon that Cole (well, all of the ninja) is obsessed with the Percy Jackson / Heroes of Olympus series (Frank is his favorite character and I feel he would be a child of Athena or Demeter), hence the reason Cole says that he pretends he's at Camp Half-Blood.**

 **I also really struggle with writing for Lloyd, so let's hope this is decent too, haha!**

 **Do you like Percy Jackson? If so what god do you think the ninja would be children of?**


	4. Pacing

**Just wanted to say, I _adore_ the ninja's friendship with each other so much, but Bruise is probably maybe by a little bit my favorite (Cole and Jay are _definitely_ best friends), so there are a few moments where it seems super forced, but I just wanted to rub Bruise friendship in both my face and in my friends faces haha! So that's why it seems so forced!**

* * *

Jay had been pacing. Relentlessly pacing the halls of the Bounty, waiting for Misako to finish. He watched Sensei walk in and out of the infirmary a few times, but each time he tried to get in he was told to stay. Nya tried to coax him away but he pulled away from her. She looked hurt, but who wasn't hurt right now? She finally told him that she was going to go to the Autobody shop to blow off some steam and to call her if anything happened. He nodded hastily, not really listening.

Jay was a mess. An absolute mess. He wasn't afraid to admit it, he would shout it to the world, maybe do a little song and dance routine called 'I'm a mess and my life sucks' so if people didn't believe he was a complete and utter wreck, they would get it after watching his pathetic attempts at dealing with the situation at hand. It had been what felt like hours since Cole's heart stopped, and Misako hadn't taken a single step outside of the infirmary, hadn't poked her head out to tell him Cole was going to be okay. The only good thing about not having any news was knowing that Cole hadn't died just yet.

The lightning ninja eventually moved on from stomping around by the infirmary and had now taken to angrily marching around the entire ship. He avoided the deck because he had seen Zane meditating there, refused to go near their bedroom because he knew he would lose it the second he looked at Cole's bed, and knew it would be best to stay away from the training room because then he would be tempted to grab his weapon and head straight for the den of the serpentine. His feet were sore, his head was pounding, but he kept pacing and pacing. He only stopped in the rec room when he heard someone speak behind him, an eerily familiar voice saying " _Wow! You have never looked worse in your entire life, Motor Mouth!"_

Jay spun around, and screamed out of pure happiness when he saw Cole. The ninja was dressed in what looked like a hospital gown and was using a pair of crutches to keep him upright, but it was his friend. He was okay. "COLE!" he squealed, running towards his friend and trying to hug him (as gently as he could that is). Disappointment and fear rocketed through his emotions as he went through his teammate and proceeded to fall on the ground. The ninja was smiling sheepishly at him. "AH! YOU'RE A GHOST! HOLY CRAP! Oh no- if I'm seeing ghosts, that meaNS YOU'RE DEAD?" Jay started to hyperventilate and only stopped after hearing the ghost's response.

" _Woah woah woah! Calm down! I am not a ghost, and I am not dead yet!"_

"T-Then what are you?" Jay stuttered, picking himself up from the floor and cautiously backing away.

" _I am purely and simply just your tired mind playing tricks on you. Sit down, man, you look like you're about to pass out!"_

"Well you don't look any better," mumbled an irritated Jay who sat down nevertheless.

The Mirage Cole approached him, kneeling before him. " _Oh, Jay, why do you do this to yourself?"_ he asked after a few seconds of silence. " _You're better than this. Get some rest, you look like crap."_

"Humph! Well thank you Fake Cole for pointing out that fact that I am a miserable, lowly, horrible looking ninja who's mourning the possible death of his friend!"

Cole shrugged. " _Meh, it's my duty as your best friend to make sure you know that."_

Jay almost gasped- almost. "Best friend?"

" _Well, duh! Are you really that oblivious?"_ Jay gulped. " _Of course you're my best friend! I'm offended you would think you weren't!"_ There was a twinkle in Cole's eyes and Jay couldn't help but smile.

"Well, if it's any consolation, Mirage Cole, _Real_ Cole is my best friend too… it's only been a few hours but I miss him so much… I don't think I can cry anymore."

Cole's eyebrows shot up in surprise. " _Hey, don't waste your tears on me! Save them for when something tragic happens."_

"Something tragic? Mirage Cole, I just watched a sword make a home inside Real Cole's stomach! It didn't even stop there! It WENT THROUGH HIS STOMACH!" Jay's voice got a few octaves higher and and he couldn't hold back tears that were about to fall. "Oh wow, look at me go! Just when I didn't think I had anymore tears to spare…"

" _You do know that I'm gonna be alright?"_

Jay tried to scoff at him but it came out as more of a whimper. "You're just saying that to make me feel better…"

" _Eh, I am. It helped though, right? Getting to hear someone else tell you that everything will be okay?"_

"Pheft, what is this, a therapy session?" Jay rolled his eyes but instantly blushed when one of Cole's bushy eyebrows slowly crept higher. "Okay, it was nice to hear…"

" _There we go, Sparky!"_ Cole grinned at him. " _You know, I don't know what I would do without you."_

"What do you mean?"

" _You're one of the most positive people I know, I admire you so much! I mean, you're funny and encouraging… I'm so serious and boring and bland-I'm such a buzzkill-and my life wouldn't be nearly as exciting without you."_

"Yeah, you can keep saying that but it won't make it anymore true."

" _Have you always had a low self confidence or did that just happen when you became a ninja?"_ retorted Cole. " _You have such high standards for yourself, man! It astounds me that you have so much doubt in yourself."_

"I-" Jay didn't know what to say, how to answer.

Cole chuckled. " _Ha! I've rendered Motor Mouth speechless! This is a first!"_

"But what do I do if you don't make it? How am I supposed to deal with that?"

" _You have got to be more positive! The power of positive thinking has never steered you wrong before! Just keep being your positive self!"_ Cole paused and stared into the distance. " _I'm about to fade."_

"What?" Jay spluttered.

" _It's been nice talking to you, Motor Mouth. I hope it's not our last."_ Cole stood and started walking (with the assistance from his crutches) towards the door.

"Wait! Don't go!" cried Jay frantically, standing up faster than he had ever stood up before and running after the ninja. "I don't want you to leave yet…"

Cole smiled grimly. " _Trust me, you don't want to see what happens when I fade, it's not pretty. I'm doing you a favor by leaving now."_

"If you leave I'll just follow you!" Jay blurted out. "And this won't be our last talk, Dirt Clog! I'll be talking to the _Real_ Cole soon!"

" _There's the happy Jay I know and love!"_ He sighed peacefully. " _Maybe. Just maybe. Now I've got to leave before-"_

"I can handle it! Please… I-I-" Jay started to choke up again.

Cole nodded. " _I'm sorry, Jay. I'm so sorry I made you cry."_ And then, it started. Cole let out a scream of agony, his crutches fell to the floor and the ninja fell right along with them. He writhed in pain on the ground. The middle of hospital gown he was wearing turned red as if his bandages had broke.

"No no! Cole… I don't want to do this without you…"

Cole weakly grinned at him one more time before letting out one last agonizing scream. That's when he vanished. It was almost as if he had never been there. Jay leaned against the door frame, his head bowed and his heart aching. "I can't…" he muttered, a single tear falling down his face.

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 **Honestly, I love writing for Jay! Sometimes I find it easy because, despite Cole being my favorite ninja, I relate to Jay the most so writing for him is always fun! Since I said that, I'm hoping it was actually decent and in character haha!**


	5. Chaos

**Okay, so I know this isn't the best chapter (the exposition is lowkey high and hate it but also I struggled with some parts here!), and I'm not sure if I'll continue after this part since what I have written after this has some... relatively darker themes in a way... but that's not relevant at the moment! Thank you for all of the reviews and I hope you enjoy this slightly exposition filled chapter!**

* * *

An hour later, all four ninja found themselves just outside the infirmary. Misako was finally about to let them in to see their brother. He was stable for now. He stopped breathing twice as she patched him up. Her and Sensei were giving them time alone with Cole, but if anything were to happen they were to get them and leave immediately. But before they entered, she had stopped them. "I don't really know how to put this but, the sword went through his lower spine. There is a very high chance that, should Cole survive this, he would be paralyzed." The older woman paused and closed her eyes for a moment, her left hand squeezing the bridge of her nose. "I am so sorry."

"But-but is there anyway to- will it be… permanent?" stuttered Jay.

"Will his entire body be paralyzed or just a certain part?" demanded Kai angrily.

"Does that mean he can't be a ninja anymore?" asked Lloyd fearfully.

Zane stayed silent. Fake Cole had been right. He had known his chances the second he was impaled.

Misako desperately looked at Wu who just bowed his head. "I'm afraid I don't have the answers to those questions. Hopefully the paralysis will decrease within a month but I can't guarantee that."

Jay swallowed back a sob and blinked his forever flowing tears away. He nodded then shoved his way through the crowd of people and into the infirmary. Lloyd followed, his eyes glued to the floor, and Zane and Kai did so as well after a moment.

The team all sat around the bed in a circle, trying to hide the fact that they were looking at each other. Kai's face was as red as his gi, his hands bandaged heavily. Zane looked shaken. Too shaken. Lloyd looked lost, a far off look in his eyes. Jay looked physically and emotionally taxed. There was a silence in the air as they all looked over Cole's unconscious figure, none wanting to be the first to actually see his pale form. Jay refused to look anywhere near the ninja clad in hospital gown.

They stayed like that for awhile, each too haunted to speak. Kai took one of Cole's hands, his own hands shaking. The long-lasting silence was destroyed when an aggravated scream came from Lloyd's mouth, closely followed by a muttered, "This isn't fair."

"Being paralyzed would take everything away from him!" cried Jay suddenly, standing up and resuming his pacing. "He can't be a ninja anymore, he can't climb, he can't hike or drive! What are we supposed to do, kick him off the team? Leave him at his dad's? I don't-" Jay cut himself off.

"It's my fault."

Each head turned as Zane spoke up. "What?" Kai asked, his eyebrows beginning to furrow.

"If anything happens, it's my fault," the Nindroid mumbled, a few tears falling down his cheeks.

"How is this your fault?" Kai questioned, his voice barely above a whisper. "You did nothing!"

"Exactly! I did nothing! I could have-"

Kai scoffed. "Yeah, you did nothing! I'm the reason he lost a lot of blood in the short amount of time! I freaking pulled the sword out of him! If it's anyone's fault it's mine!" His voice slowly started to rise in volume.

"And how are we gonna save Ninjago without him? That was only a bunch of snakes, that wasn't even Garmadon!" Jay continued, his feet carrying him across the room.

Kai and Zane resumed their arguing while Jay stressed about the situation and Lloyd started mumbling to himself. The room was complete and utter chaos, at least until the door slammed open and a shrill whistle pierced the air. Everyone shut up and turned their attention towards Nya who was angrily standing by the door. "You all need to calm yourselves!" she exclaimed angrily. She turned to Jay. "And _you_ told me you would call me if anything happened!"

"W-Well it's not like anything changed!" Jay defended weakly.

"You got to see him! I'm his friend too, Jay!" her voice cracked and her eyes watered. "I care whether he lives or dies!" She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. We're all stressed. Let's just-let's just take a walk." She gently grabbed her brother's open hand and urged him towards her. Kai sighed as he let go of Cole's hand and let Nya help him towards the door.

The room that had so quickly been filled was now empty and silent. Nya took the team to a forest by where The Bounty was parked so they could blow off steam while Misako rested and Wu stood by the door, waiting, just in case anything were to happen, too scared to look at his student once more.

Unbeknownst to the team, something was happening. While the ninja and Nya were walking, Misako was sleeping, and Wu was grieving, Cole's eyes snapped open. He blinked furiously as the room's light flooded his vision. He tried to sit up, move his arm, even twitch his fingers, but to no avail. He tried to open his mouth, say something, anything, but he couldn't seem to get his body to function. He was immobilized. Why couldn't he move? What had happened? He strained to remember, his breathing began increasing ever so slowly, as if the next few minutes of his life played in slow motion.

His body was suddenly filled with pain, it felt almost numbing in a way. He remembered flashes, the serpentine, a sword, feeling weak, the feeling of being lifted. He couldn't put it all together. He felt as though the light were blinding him, as though his voice was caught in his throat, stuck and unable to escape. He was scared, terrified, _petrified._ Where was everyone? Why was he alone? Did they leave him? Where is he? He spent minutes contemplating those questions until he began hyperventilating. That's when the machines went off and the beeping started.

Although the beeping was frighteningly loud, he was still able to hear the sound of a door restlessly being opened and the "Cole, calm down," from a comforting, familiar voice.

His eyes wandered around trying to find his Sensei, but he was out of sight. Cole once again tried to sit up but just couldn't. The machines continued blaring loudly, he heard frantic mumbling until the noise finally turned off. Cole felt his chest move up and down and could hear his own labored breathing now that it was silent.

"Cole," he heard the voice of his Sensei say once more. His face finally came into view and the Earth ninja's eyes fearfully locked eyes with the concerned Sensei's which were wide with concern. He felt a hand hold onto one of his. "Can you move?"

Cole squeezed his eyes shut and tried to move once more but the once simple task felt impossible. He couldn't even shake his head no.

"I'll take that as a no. I'll go get Misako. She'll want to know you're awake." Sensei's head disappeared and Cole suddenly felt completely and utterly alone again. It was terrifying. A strangled noise came from his throat and Wu reappeared. His face must have reflected how he felt because Sensei said, "Or I can just call her."

The Sensei grabbed his cell phone from his pocket and dialed Misako's number. As he waited he grabbed a hold of Cole's hand again to help him remember that he wasn't alone. The black ninja focused on keeping his breathing under control while Wu talked on the phone.

"Misako, yes. Cole's awake. No, he can't move," he heard Sensei say. "If you can come to the infirmary that would be appreciated. Yes. Not yet. Do you know when they will return? That's fine. Thank you." He closed his phone and pulled a chair towards the bedside. "Misako is on her way," he said. There was a moment's silence then, "Do you remember what happened?"

Cole once again tried to move, to shake his head, but the once simple task seemed impossible. He didn't bother trying to speak again, he knew it would be to no avail and that would only increase his current anxiety. He moved his eyes back and forth, hoping his Sensei would understand the meaning. Thankfully, he did.

"Ah, I see," Wu's voice trailed off as the door opened and a slightly dazed Misako ran in.

She made her way to the paralyzed ninja and started asking him a series of questions which he answered with his eyes. Once she was finished, she spoke. "Well, you should be able to regain use of your chest and above through physical therapy, and you should be able to talk almost completely normally within the month." Cole took a deep breath. "Now if you wanted, Wu and I could work with you, or if you'd prefer, we could teach the team how to-" Cole's eyes widened and he aggressively started moving them side to side. Misako sighed. "You have nothing to be ashamed of, Cole, but if that's what you want…" They moved up and down. "Okay then. We will start tomorrow."

Suddenly, the door burst open and Cole heard five sets of footsteps running in. "Is he okay?" he heard Jay's frantic voice say. "Please say he's okay!" Jay's head popped into view and he smiled widely. "Cole!"

"I am sorry, I am so freaking sorry!" Kai said, his voice a slightly higher octave than usual. "I shouldn't have pulled that-"

"Students, why don't you fill Cole in on what happened, he doesn't seem to remember what happened," Wu interjected.

The five shared a look, eyes battling each other until Kai sighed angrily and stepped forward. Wu gave Kai the chair and he explained what had happened. Kai was on the verge of tears by the time he had finished. Cole just closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry," he repeated. The Earth ninja didn't say anything. "Sensei, why won't he say anything?"

"Due to his… paralysis, he is currently unable to… well… talk," the Sensei informed them. Jay gasped and Lloyd's eyes were glued to the ground.

Zane sat down in a chair next to Kai's and placed a hand on Cole's shoulder. "I am so sorry, brother. If only we had-"

Cole's eyes snapped open. He glared at the white ninja, but it wasn't a glare of hatred, it was a 'stop right there' glare. Oh how Cole desperately wished he could speak so he could tell them they did nothing wrong. Zane solemnly nodded.

Cole watched as Jay, Lloyd, and Nya pulled chairs up to the bed. At one point in the night, Lloyd had went to get him water. He had asked if he had any water to drink that day, Cole had avoided eye contact. He told him that whenever he was sick (Cole had to try hard not to roll his eyes at that), he drank water, so he _must_ need water. The green ninja had rushed to the kitchen and came back with a rather tall glass of water. He handed it to Cole who looked at the glass, his hands, then Lloyd until the blonde's face flushed and he sat back down, handing the water to Jay.

Jay had cringed before saying, "Cole, I know you won't like this, but you need to drink so…" Cole's eyes immediately went side-to-side. Jay sighed. "I know this'll suck but, please? I just-I just want to make sure you-you're…" the lightning ninja trailed off as his voice started breaking. Cole took pity on him and let him pour the water down his throat.

It was that moment Cole really realized how dire the situation w as. He was completely helpless. Completely, utterly, helpless until he regains control over his upper body. That was the moment he wished he could disappear, sink into the covers of the infirmary bed, and leave the pitying eyes of his best friends, his brothers.

Later that night, all had left to bed but Zane. Cole had shut his eyes an hour ago, pretending to sleep. He thought that maybe if he tried hard enough, he would get a few good hours of nothing before he had to wake up and face reality again. He also assumed Zane would leave once he fell asleep, but neither of those came to be.

"Zane, you're still here?" he heard Sensei Wu say a while later.

"Yes, I didn't want him to be left alone. I'm scared that if I leave he'll… depart… again."

There was silence and Cole felt tears prick the corners of his eyes.

A moment later, "Sensei?"

"Yes, Zane?"

"How are we going to do this? He can't do anything. What if something happens and we're all gone? I'm scared." He felt a hand gently brush away his bangs then settle on the top of his head, picking at a few strands of his hair. "Will he continue being a ninja? Will we have to send him back to his dad's?"

"I assume we'll make a system. He won't be alone for a long time," was his Sensei's reply. "As for the other two questions, I can not say. There's a chance he could still fight without use of his legs, a chance he could help us, even off battle-field, without his legs, but we never can tell." More silence. The fingers started running through his hair the way he used to do it himself. "Get some sleep, Zane. I'll take over."

"No, I would like to stay. It would make me feel better."

* * *

 **Okiday! I hope you all enjoyed and this chapter wasn't as bad as I thought haha! Lemme know if you guys wants anymore of the story, like I said above the next few parts kind of get darker in a way and some parts are super confusing until you read parts after that and it still may not make as much sense without the explanation I wrote haha! I personally think that the first few chapters are the best in the story, but if any of you want to read what's next, just lemme know! Anyways, this is long and excessive so I'll end it here, have a great night / day / afternoon / life!**


	6. Disaster

**Ahh! Sorry for the very late update! This chapter isn't really my favorite and I'm kind of self-conscious about it if that makes sense? So that's why it's taken me awhile to update!**

 _ **WARNING**_ **: This chapter is... kind of intense? It involves some physical uncomfort (nothing _bad_ , just something I feel would be physically uncomfortable) and definitely has darker themes than the rest of this.**

 **The end of this chapter will have an A/N explaining all of the 'hallucinations', including the one that happens this chapter (slight spoiler but that's okay). This all made sense to me, but I'm not sure about how others will feel, I had to explain it to my friend a bit (there's a lot of deeper meaning in this haha)**

 **So, enjoy, and once again, I am sorry if this chapter isn't that great! (Note: I headcanon that when Kai is upset, rubbing his back really helps him calm down. I feel like it's something Maya would have done and it's just a comforting feeling).**

* * *

The past month for the team had been… difficult, to put it lightly. Not only were they without a team member and leader, but he couldn't move. Or do anything at all. Someone always had to tend to him, usually Misako or Wu, but even the elders needed their rest and the rest of the team had to step up.

It was obvious that Cole hated the constant feeling of helplessness, the constant need of assistance. It was obvious he hated the speech therapy he had to endure. Misako and Wu refused to let the team sit with them per Cole's request, but it was obvious he struggled.

One of the things Cole was most ashamed of was _certain_ help he needed. He was human, he was still alive and needed to eat and drink to continue to survive. Someone had to physically feed him three times a day. He didn't look at anyone whenever he was spoon fed. There were times he tried not to eat or drink, but he was forced. He tried to avoid drinking because the more he drank the more he had to use the bathroom. The first week he was immobilized, each time he had to use the restroom someone had to physically pick him up and set him on the toilet then stand in the room with him so when he was done they could help him… well he had lost all of his dignity. After that he would get carried back and laid down in the bed once more. Kai, Jay, and Zane were the only ones who he allowed to help him with that. He was sure they had all lost respect for him. After Jay saw how embarrassed Cole was those first few days, he had gotten the idea to make a catheter for the Earth ninja so he wouldn't be forced to suffer the embarrassment anymore. Jay and Nya worked on it almost constantly for a few days. Misako attached it to his stomach immediately after it was finished.

After four weeks, Cole had managed to move both hands, and his left arm. It wasn't the best and he wasn't very fast, but he could do it.

Each battle (which were few) the team rotated on who would stay with Cole. It usually ended up being Lloyd with his mom, but often times Kai, Jay, and Zane had to stay with him.

Cole could finally talk again, but he refused to speak to any of them. He was embarrassed by the way his voice sounded, by how long it took him to regain his speech. They guessed it was his way of coping. Whenever the team would sit with him, it would be in silence. The others wanted to say something, they just didn't know what.

Over the course of a week and a half, Cole was able to move his all ten of his fingers. It required all of his effort, but he could move his fingers again. The crew celebrated the small feat. Jay taught Cole how to do hand hugs so they could hand hug, Kai gave him a high-five, Lloyd held his hand just so he could feel the motion of Cole's fingers wrapping around his to make sure it was real. Zane even baked a cake. But Cole didn't eat any.

 _Is this even worth all of the effort?_ Kai wondered one day as he was forced to sit out a battle with pirates to watch Cole.

 _Maybe it would have been better for him if he had died…_ Zane contemplated after throwing half of the cake away and seeing the downcast look etched upon Cole's face throughout the entire party.

 _I'm dealing with too much as it is, I don't know if I can handle this,_ Lloyd thought after spying on one of Cole's physical therapy sessions with Misako and Wu and seeing his older 'brother' struggle to move his arms.

 _Why can't Cole just suck it up and speak to me!_ Jay mentally asked himself desperately as Cole refused to even look at him.

 _Why bother…_ Nya mused angrily after attempting to give the ninja of Earth a hand hug and was rejected.

But then the five crossed paths, they looked into each others tired eyes, the eyes filled with hopelessness and sadness and defeat. They sighed, knowing that yes it was worth it, that they would much rather have Cole paralyzed and alive than dead, murdered by an unknown serpentine warrior.

But what the team didn't know, was that as Cole helplessly lie there all day for a month, he had been thinking the same things.

 _Am I worth it?_

* * *

His right arm. His non-dominant arm. After hours of grueling work with Sensei and Misako, he had moved his right arm. There were tears of pain streaming down his face, sweat covering his hairline and dripping off of him, but he had done it. He let his arm fall to the bed and sighed. Misako's hand was near his so he attempted to grab it with what little strength he had in his fingers and muttered, "Thank you."

She smiled warmly and replied with, "You're getting so much better, Cole."

He tried to smile, he really did. But the corners of his lips just didn't want to move upwards. He didn't know whether it was because of his condition or if he just couldn't find enough happiness in him to smile. "C-Can I have some time alo-alone?" he stuttered softly, avoiding eye contact.

He could see Wu and Misako glance at each other out of the corner of his eye. "You've worked hard. Take some time," his Sensei finally replied. Cole mumbled another 'thanks', and only looked up once he was certain the door was shut. Finally, he was alone. He was never allowed to be alone anymore, someone was always at his side from the second they realized that he was awake. All he longed for (aside from movement of course) was the peace and quiet he got when there wasn't someone sitting next to him. Besides, he could tell that they'd all rather not be with him anyways. He couldn't blame them. Who'd want to get stuck watching the crippled?

After a few moments of contemplating, he decided to spend the time sleeping, something he desperately needed. It's not like he could do anything else anyways. He slowly closed his eyes, ready for a relaxing slumber, when he heard laughing coming from his bedside. Cole scowled. He had specifically requested to be alone. He opened his eyes and was a little nervous when he saw Kai, Jay, Zane, and Lloyd circled around his bed, each in their ninja gi with the hoods up. "Go away," Cole mumbled, wishing he could just disappear.

Kai scoffed and sat down on the edge of his bed. " _If only we could go away. I'd rather be literally anywhere then in the same room as you."_ Cole gulped but didn't say anything.

" _I'm so sick of having to take care of you,"_ Jay admitted, glaring at Cole. " _I can't even remember the last time I've played video games!"_ He felt his heart drop. So they did feel that way.

" _We're supposed to call you leader,"_ sneered Lloyd. " _And yet here we are, wasting our time and energy on you…"_

"I-I'm sorry…" Cole muttered.

Kai kicked his feet up so his whole body was on the bed. He readjusted his position until he was straddling Cole, his head near his chest, his eyes furious and his mouth opened in a wicked grin. " _Oh, you're sorry! Ha! That just changes everything!"_ The fire ninja lowered his head until Kai's nose was practically touching the Earth ninja's neck. Cole sucked in a breath, suddenly extremely uncomfortable. " _It doesn't matter how many times you apologize, nothing will make up for the damage you have caused."_

Cole was about to say something in response but the ice ninja quickly stepped up, took a firm hold on his chin, and said, " _It would have been better for us if you had died."_ His voice was cold and harsh. Cole felt a single tear splash down his face. " _There was a 75% chance that you would have died. A 2% chance you would survive with full control of your body. Dying would have been so much easier, why did you have to make our lives even more difficult?"_ Zane let go violently, forcing his head to the side.

Jay strode towards the paralyzed ninja, roughly grabbed his hair, pulled his head back so he was yet again face-to-face with Kai, then leaned down and whispered in his ear, " _We could have defeated Garmadon by now, saved Ninjago, but alas, we have to make sure you are feeling okay."_

Cole gasped in pain as his head was pulled backwards. "I didn't mean to- I-I wish I ha-" he started but he was cut off as Lloyd smacked him.

" _Pathetic,"_ the green ninja jeered, placing his hand where he had hit the Earth master, gently digging fingernails into skin.

" _Useless,"_ taunted Kai, slowly crawling forward until his face was just over Cole's. He sunk down lower, increasing the anxiety of the other.

" _A waste,"_ smirked Zane, hopping onto the bed as well, hovering over his feet and placing his hands firmly on Cole's arms, keeping him down.

" _I wish you had died,"_ snapped Jay, his face yet again next to Cole's, his breath hot against the cheek not being held by Lloyd.

Suddenly, Kai straightened his back and for a moment, Cole thought his living-nightmare was over. His hopeful thought, however, was shattered when a sword appeared in the fire ninja's hand. Cole had no idea where it had come from, where he had gotten it, but there it was. When Cole met Kai's eyes, all of the amber warmth was gone, replaced with the look of pure hatred and evil. The red ninja once again lowered himself onto the other and held the knife to him. "Let's finish this the way it started," he hissed. And he brought the knife down on him.

Cole felt his breathing get ever more labored as they continued getting closer, poking and prodding him, and he could only lay there. There was a light sting coursing through his body, most likely due to his wound. He was surprised that he was so numb to the pain. The last time he was in complete and utter agony. They bombarded him with insults and closeness, he felt claustrophobic. He heard someone yelling, it sounded mangled and rough, it took him a long time to realize it was his own voice. He thought he heard himself begging for help, begging someone to save him but none came. He must not have been loud enough. He could feel his tears stinging his eyes as they roughly fell down his face. And then they multiplied. There were more of them now, shaking him, yelling his name.

"NO! STOP IT! GET AWAY FROM ME!" he yelled.

" _You deserve everything that's happened to you,"_ Lloyd ridiculed him.

" _The team has suffered so much in the past month, and it's all YOUR fault!"_ Zane screamed at him.

" _YOUR FAULT!"_ Jay echoed as Kai laughed maniacally behind him as he continually struck his body with the sword.

"IT-IT'S ALL MY FAU-FAULT I'M SORRY!" he couldn't help but shriek. "I'M SOR-SORRY I DIDN'T D-DIE!" That was the moment he felt something cold pierce his skin. And the next thing he saw was darkness as reality crashed and he succumbed to the oblivion.

* * *

Kai was exhausted. Absolutely, utterly, exhausted. But even though his eyelids felt ready to drop, his eyes burned from little sleep, and his body felt weak, his worry was higher on his priority list than his fatigue. Despite how tired he was, he was supposed to sit with Cole after his physical therapy with Wu and Misako was over. He could hear grunts of strain coming from the infirmary door as he stood outside it, and he could only imagine how Cole was feeling at the moment. He gazed sadly at the door until the grunting stopped. A minute later, the elders exited the room. He was about to walk in but was stopped.

"Cole's requested to be alone for awhile," Misako informed him grimly.

"And you were okay with that?" Kai questioned doubtfully.

"He's been working hard, he's embarrassed, he needs some time to himself," explained Sensei Wu. "I know you would rather be with him, we would too, but he's feeling overwhelmed. Give him this."

"I'm sure he's just going to take the time to try and sleep, he hasn't been getting much lately," added Misako, rubbing Kai's back to help him relax.

Kai furrowed his eyebrows, his mouth in a line. "Fine. But I'm sitting outside the door. I don't believe he's ready to be on his own yet." So the fire ninja sat beside the door, his head in his hands, trying to hold back sobs as Wu and Misako walked away. All he wanted was to talk to Cole, to hear his voice, to hear him laugh. That was his goal for the day, why he was so disappointed when he was told the black ninja wanted to be alone. He wanted the team to feel like a family again. He wished he could go back to the day it all happened so he could stop himself from taking the sword out. Kai wasn't sure how mad Cole was at him, but his guilt kept him awake at night.

He had just managed to get himself together when he heard muttering coming from the infirmary. Kai curiously pressed his ear to the door, a part of him uneasy but another excited, he had yet to hear Cole speak since the accident.

"I-I'm sorry…" he heard Cole mutter his voice filled with… discomfort? Kai's eyes narrowed as he heard gasps and whimpering. He ever so softly opened the door and peeked inside. Cole's eyes were wide open, fearfully staring at the space right above his head. His fingers on his left hand were clutching the bed sheets. The fingers on his right hand twitched before it shot up and grabbed his chin. Kai frowned. This was not normal.

A tear slid down his face as he let go of his chin, pushing his head so he faced the door. Kai froze, terrified that the Earth ninja would get mad, but he didn't seem to notice he was there. His right hand suddenly grabbed his hair, pulling his head back up and Cole gasped in pain as he pulled his head backwards. He let go then sobbed, "I didn't mean to- I-I wish I ha-". He was cut off as his hand slammed violently into his own face. That's when he started yelling. It was ear-piercing and the most horrifying thing Kai had heard in his entire life. The black ninja's shrieking consisted of words that gave Kai chills. Most of it was along the lines of "NONONONONONONONO!" and "PLEASE STOP!"

"COLE?" he shouted. "COLE!" There was no response. He raced out of the room, running down the hallway until he found the team running towards him from different directions.

"Kai, what's going on?" Jay asked nervously, bouncing back and forth between his feet.

"I have no idea!" panted Kai, grabbing Jay's hand and leading him towards the infirmary, still filled with the sound of screaming. "Everything was normal then he started muttering stuff and then he started saying that he was sorry and he kept grabbing his face then, well, this happened!"

The team burst through the door but that only seemed to scare Cole more. Zane rushed to his bedside, placing a hand on his arm. "Cole," he said softly.

"NO! STOP IT! GET AWAY FROM ME!" his voice was raspy and strained, tears were streaming down his face faster than any of them had ever seen before.

Zane instantly backed away, his face pale. He desperately looked at Misako and Sensei Wu. "I-I-" he tried, but he couldn't seem to say anything else.

"Is he dreaming?" asked Lloyd, his voice filled with worry. "Maybe he's having a nightmare. Should we wake him up?"

"His eyes are open though!" Nya said through gritted teeth. "He doesn't look like he's asleep!"

Misako took one more look at the distressed ninja and quickly made her way to the other side of the room and began pouring something into a shot. Once it was all poured, she put the lid on and was about to say something when she was cut off.

"IT-IT'S ALL MY FAU-FAULT I'M SORRY! I'M SOR-SORRY I DIDN'T D-DIE!"

Kai felt as though his heart stopped, as if time slowed. All the noise around him seemed to be muffled. A muffled gasp from Lloyd, a muffled sob from Jay, a muffled 'no" from Zane. He watched as Misako quickly shoved the shot into Cole's arm, and the ninja's eyes closed. The screaming stopped. The room was silent aside from the cries from Jay. He felt his knees drop. He was on the ground. A hand was on his back. Rubbing. The door slammed shut. Jay had run out. He felt sobs try to rise out of his throat but he swallowed them. Cole wished he had died. Kai was not okay.

Kai suddenly felt his reality snap back into place when he heard the sound of a door slamming, closely followed by the clinking of chains. He cautiously lifted his head and saw a blue blur pass by the doorway. He wanted to do something, but he felt almost frozen in place, thankfully Zane was able to react.

"Jay?" he questioned, his voice barely above a whisper. "What are you doing?"

Kai didn't understand how, but the blue ninja had somehow managed to hear the quiet Nindroid. Jay retreated until he was back by the doorway, his ninja gi on, the hood up, and his nunchucks in his left hand. "I-I can't handle this anymore," his voice was breaking as he spoke. "The serpentine hurt my-my best friend and I-I-I've just been sitting here and-and not anymore."

The hand quickly withdrew itself from his back and Nya rushed towards the door. "No, Jay… no no no," she was desperate, pleading. "Please don't be stupid." She grabbed his arm. He shook it off.

"You, don't understand… I have to, Nya… I have to."

"I'm coming with you." Each head turned to look at Lloyd in time to see him whoosh into his green tornado and come out in his gi. He rolled his hood up in a swift, aggressive motion. "Someone needs to be held responsible for what happened. I don't care who or-or how, but someone is going to suffer."

"I will come too," Zane spoke up, his voice still soft. Kai couldn't help but gape at the white ninja, the usually calm and collected ninja who didn't rush into things, was now rushing into something. The nindroid didn't elaborate. He just spinjitzued into his gi and walked to the door with Lloyd.

The three turned to Kai. "Are you coming, Kai?" Lloyd asked, his voice rough.

The red ninja stayed silent as he slowly stood up. "Remember how hard the past month has been on us all," Jay said through clenched teeth. "Cole could have died. He wished he had died. He might as well be dead right now."

"Jay!" Nya gasped, tears silently falling down her face.

"Please. We could use your… your fiery passion. I know you're angry, Kai. You don't have to hide it." Jay made eye contact with Kai. His eyes that were usually filled with some form of joy were now filled with hate. Uncontrollable hate and anger. He glanced at the unconscious form of Cole on the bed, his chest slowly moving up and down.

"I'm in," he muttered, following the others example and changing into his gi. He walked towards the door, kissed his sister's cheek and mumbled, "Let's go."

* * *

 **Alrighty** **, here's the explanation:**

 **Kai:** Kai saw Cole as being mean or rude and wearing normal, non-ninja, clothing as a way of coping so if Cole were to die he was hoping the more mean version of Cole would distract him from the Cole he knew and loved and would prevent him from missing the real Cole more, kind of as a way of not having to really except that his friend died. The non-ninja clothing was, once again, a way to remember a different Cole, a non-ninja Cole, so-to-speak.

 **Zane:** Zane is a Nindroid, built to protect those who cannot protect themselves. When Cole got hurt, he saw that as failure on his behalf, he believed that _he_ should have been able to stop it from happening because, to him, Cole's life is more significant than his, and as a Nindroid, a non-human being who is far more intelligent than others and can do more, _he_ should have been able to save him. He saw Cole bloody and dying in his gi as an example of his failure.

 **Lloyd:** Lloyd is still a kid. Sure, now he's physically a teenager, but he is still a kid. He's struggling to adjust so he saw Cole in a more child-like state, such a kid wearing pajamas, prepared to go to bed, almost a state of innocence. He saw him, not exactly _as_ a child specifically, but rather child-like and expressing things such as a child would. The conversation he had with Cole was that of a two innocent children, two kids wishing things were better, and the more child-like state helped Lloyd cope more and see Cole in a different light, so-to-speak.

 **Jay:** Now Jay is different. He saw Cole they way he _wished_ to see him. He wanted to see him healed, he wanted to see him walking again. It was that positive part of his mind that drove his hallucination. The positive part that gave him something the others didn't have, it gave him hope. Now, he didn't exactly use that 'power' the way "Mirage Cole" had wanted him to, as he was too focused on the negative aspect of the situation, but the Cole hallucination was the positive part of his mind willing him to stay positive.

 **Cole:** Now Cole's is the hardest for me to explain. Cole is the leader of the team (Lloyd hasn't taken over at this point and honestly I miss leader Cole a lot), hence him being super embarrassed about what happened to him. He believes it's _his_ job to protect his team and _his_ job to worry about their safety (not that he wants them to get hurt, he just feels he should be responsible for them). He does not believe they should have to worry about him or care for him because that means he somehow failed as a leader, nor does he think they should worry or care for him because he doesn't believe he's worth it (none of them do really...) so he pretends he's fine. He genuinely believes that his teammates are sick of taking care of him and they hate having to 'watch over' him, he feels like a chore. Cole thinks the others wished he had died (obviously the others do _not_ think that) so that's why he hallucinates Kai killing him. Kai was the one to pull the sword out, and he shoves that same sword right back in (not actually, in his intense hallucination). His whole hallucination stems from the belief that he doesn't deserve to live, that his teammates do not believe he should have lived, and just all of this self-doubt and slight depression because, well, in the state he's in, it's hard not to think too much.

 **Hallucinations of Kai, Jay, Lloyd, and Zane:** My goal with them was to make Cole feel as helpless and uncomfortable as possible. They straddled him and got close to him, breathing in his ear just to make him feel so much discomfort because he can't really move to get away. They did all of that because, as I stated above, it's Cole's way as punishing himself. He believes he deserves the discomfort and the mental pain.

So... that's all the explanations! I hope those made sense!

* * *

 **Anyone surprised Jay was the first to act? I _almost_ made it Kai, but I thought to myself, it's _always_ Kai, Jay is upset too. Let's let him be reckless today haha!**

 **Note: When Zane wonders if it was better if he had died, it wasn't because he wished that Cole had died, it was because Cole just seemed so upset and he just wanted what was best for his brother, he was wondering if maybe Cole would be happier if he had died!**

 **I hope you all enjoyed and that chapter wasn't too weird? Thanks for reading and I am so sorry I took forever to update!**


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